Healthy Boundaries and Why We Need Them
We all need boundaries, not just physical boundaries but we also need energetic boundaries.
Do we put up boundaries to shut out the world? Do we use boundaries to isolate ourselves? Do these seemingly impenetrable boundaries keep us safe, or lock us away from experiencing life?
Healthy boundaries can assist us in saying ‘no’ when it is for our greatest and highest good. They allow us to be with others without taking on their issues. They allow us to stand strong in who we are without being pulled down, intentionally or unintentionally, by others.
For HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) and Empaths, healthy boundaries are life-changing and life-enhancing. For decades I lived without boundaries, only impenetrable walls that kept me from feeling and from experiencing life. That is, until the assaults from the outside found a crack in my armour and I would collapse physically and emotionally. I had no idea that I was an Empath and that there was a reason behind the pain and suffering, the self-doubt, and the depression.
Understanding that I am an Empath has set me on a journey of self-discovery and self-observation. One of the most important insights has been about boundaries; life-defeating boundaries and life-enhancing, healthy boundaries.
So, how do our Empath auras work? Everyone has an aura that is full of their own ‘stuff’ – emotions, aches and pains, trauma, negative thoughts etc. For non-Empaths, their auras have an impermeable boundary. Empaths, however, have an aura that is permeable. When we are with another person, our aura merges with that person’s aura and we get to experience their ‘stuff’. How this manifests will depend upon the type of Empath that you are. I will cover this in another blog or contact me for more information.
When we move out of the other person’s aura they still have their ‘stuff’ but now we, as Empaths, have some of their ‘stuff’ stuck in our auras. We also collect ‘stuff’ in our auras from reading negative articles, from people saying or thinking damaging thoughts about us, and from being in environments that aren’t healthy for us.
For Empaths, it is extremely important for us to clear our auras and to build healthy boundaries. We also need to spend time alone, preferably in nature, so that we can ground, replenish, and recharge. When we pick up so much ‘stuff’ from others it becomes challenging to know what is ours and what isn’t. Where do we start and where do we end energetically? Are we really upset, in pain, or even depressed, or are we feeling someone else’s issues? Learning how to tune into myself has shown me how to discern what is mine and what isn’t.
As a bodyworker, it is doubly important for me to understand what is mine, to be able to cleanse and clear my energy body, and to establish healthy boundaries. I intuitively feel what is going on with my clients. I don’t want to block this as it is a part of how I work, but I don’t want to carry it forward into my day the way that I used to.
For me, walking is a brilliant way to rebalance; tune into myself; to listen to my mind, body, and soul; and to release what doesn’t serve. It is a form of meditation where I allow my mind and my soul to travel wherever they take me.
What has changed my life significantly is the use of plant medicine, essential oils, for emotional and spiritual support. For me, there is great beauty in plant medicine.
Every oil and every blend have a specific name as well as multiple purposes. Lavender is the Oil of Communication. Frankincense is the Oil of Truth. Clary Sage is the Oil of Clarity and Vision. These are just a few examples of the properties of the oils. Applying the relevant oils to the correct acupuncture points can shift the emotional and energetic bodies.
There is a protocol using three oils for cleansing and clearing the aura. I use this when I start to feel weighed down or if I have been in toxic situations. Even after large social gatherings where I have struggled, using this will lighten my spirits.
For building healthy boundaries I apply two oils topically every morning for three weeks. The shifts are profound. I am able to say ‘no’ without guilt. I can speak my truth without fear. When I am with others I no longer put their needs above mine. I feel more capable, stronger, and less vulnerable. I redo the protocol whenever I feel that my boundaries are being challenged by new experiences or people.
My next self-awareness project is using the oils to release trapped emotions. With a clear aura and healthy boundaries in place, I now feel safe enough to release these emotions that are buried deep within. Not just mine, but those that I have picked up from others.
How does being a Highly Sensitive Person or an Empath affect you? What would help make life more comfortable for you? What do you wish you knew about being sensitive? I love conversations about these issues. Reach out!
If you would like to experience the power of plant medicine to assist you in establishing healthy boundaries or to work through emotional issues, please send me a message. I would love to connect you with the beauty and purity of the oils.
3 thoughts on “Healthy Boundaries and Why We Need Them”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Excellent reminder about taking personal responsibility for what we let into our lives! “Doubly” true for bodyworkers of any kind. Empaths are sensitive to these things but often don’t take care of who or what they let into their energy field. Would love to hear more about the HOW to do this as a daily practice.
We were having a conversation about it today, and that this energy exchange is why it is vitally important that energy workers charge for what they do. We take stuff on, we can’t avoid it. So we have to keep ourselves clear. This person taught a Qi Gong clearing to move energy off us. He also said to take a shower after we’ve done energy work! I hadn’t even thought of that 🙂
Thank you! I truly appreciate your kind words. If I can reach just one person who resonates, then my work is doing what I want it to do 🙂