The Power of “I See You”
A couple of weeks ago there was a video posted on Facebook about a project in Zimbabwe where they trained grandmothers on how to listen to people going through mental health issues. These grandmothers sit on benches in public places and people come and sit with them. This is a free service available for all those who cannot find or afford a psychiatrist. It touched me deeply. Not only is it a beautiful way for people to find help, it is also a wonderful way for the grandmothers to play an important role in society.
The story reminded me of one of the most important life lessons that I have learned and continue to learn, the importance of “I see you”. How often do we get a chance to sit with someone, face to face, or through electronic communication without judging or feeling judged? This is a simple, yet profound gift that we can offer to another person.
Remember that we cannot know exactly what another person is going through, how they feel, or what the right answers are for them. Simply listening, being in observer position, is a gift. Instead of words such as “If I were you …” or “What I did is …” or “Why don’t you …?” just be with them, in their world, and bear witness. Allow them to talk, cry, vent, rage, or even sit in silence. This is their journey. If they ask for your advice or opinion then offer it, but with “I don’t know if this resonates …?” or “I may be way off here …” or something similar. Instead of telling them what you think they should do, listen and hold a space for them. You are potentially helping them to see options outside the place that they are stuck in.
Being seen, being heard, being acknowledged as we are, without judgment, is one of the greatest and most beautiful gifts that we can offer another person. Your presence may just be exactly what they need at that moment.
We heal when we are ready, each one of us at our own pace and through our own individual processes. Sometimes it is necessary to spend time in the darkness before we are ready to step into the light again. By being with them, truly seeing them, we may be able to act as a catalyst for them to start to heal.
Who do you know who would love to be able to talk freely and be seen for who they are? Do you have anyone who will sit with you and accept you unconditionally? I would love to be that grandmother sitting on a virtual park bench should you need to reach out. I am here.
